300 Billion Clicks: The High Price of Female Shame (Women’s Month Reflection on the Architecture of Power)
I recently watched the podcast of Oprah interviewing the woman in the “Kiss Cam,” a video that went so viral, it was watched 300 billion times by a total world population of 8 billion! How is that possible? Through the recursive and relentless loop of the internet, where a single private mistake is magnified until it becomes a global commodity.
For the first time, I heard the side of Kristin Cabot, the “Kiss Cam Girl.” While she admitted that she committed a mistake, she shared that she was already separated from her husband and the boss also told her that he, too, was separated from his wife. While the world judged, laughed, and made her a meme without knowing the back story, her life was being shattered as she even received death threats. The most striking part? The man involved—the CEO—is reportedly already fielding new job offers and reconciling with his family, while Kristin remains jobless and “radioactive” in her professional field.
Once again, we see that women still get the beating while men almost always get off the hook.
It reminded me of the Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky scandal back in 1998, the year I also visited Washington D.C. Passing by the White House back then made everyone think about it. After watching the Barbara Walters interview of Monica just now, through a set of 2026 lens, I realize that she was just a child—all of 22 years old. Science tells us her “Makatwirang Mark” (her rational prefrontal cortex) was not yet fully developed. On the other hand, Clinton was literally the most powerful man on earth!
In her 2015 TED Talk, Monica described herself as “Patient Zero” of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously. Because her scandal broke in the early days of digital revolution, she became the first victim of cyberbullying on a global scale, having her soul “ruthlessly mined, packaged, and sold” for clicks. The powerful man was kept in office, even hailed as a hero, while the child was vilified and for nearly two decades, lived in emotional and economic prison because despite having a master’s degree from the London School of Economics, she was “unemployable” as employers were scared of the brand association.
I wonder, why was there no mention of sexual harassment back then? I remember a very powerful line from the 1994 movie Disclosure. The lawyer of Michael Douglas (who was the subordinate of Demi Moore in the movie. Yes, in the movie, it was the man who was sexually harassed.) said: “Sexual harassment is not about sex. It’s about power!” That line stayed with me.
Why didn’t we have more pity for the young Lewinsky? The answer is that we were obsessively and foolishly looking at “consent” while ignoring the massive power imbalance, and probably ignorant about the business of shame.
The Billion-Dollar Shame Industry
What we often forget is that this “shame architecture” is a business model. As Monica and Kristen pointed out, shame is an industry. When you click on a “scandal” video, you are contributing to a marketplace. There are billions earned from your clicks. The more a woman is shamed, the more engagement is generated, and the more advertising money flow into the pockets of platforms. Every time we carelessly click, we fund the machinery that destroys lives.
The Philippine Scene: From Quezon to Duterte
In the Philippines, we have our own version of this power play. It echoes back to the “Quezon Defense”—the historical anecdote where President Manuel L. Quezon reportedly said, “Do you think that with my looks, I need to rape anyone?” It was used as a reason to absolve him, suggesting that “status” and “looks” negate the possibility of abuse. Yuck!
Fast forward to more recent times, and we see the same pattern in the misogynistic and repulsive remarks of former President Duterte. What’s even more appalling and heart-sickening was hearing the audience laugh. Those laughs echoed a culture that views power as a license to belittle women.
The Legal Shield and the FQ Connection
Fortunately, we have laws, that when implemented, that can protect us. RA 7877 (1995) officially recognized “Moral Ascendancy”—acknowledging that a boss’s influence makes true consent a grey area. The Safe Spaces Act (2019) finally expanded this to our digital lives.
Another important shield for women is having a High FQ. Sexual harassment thrives on dependency. We see this in abusive relationships when women endure harassment and abuse because they are not financially capable of walking away. They don’t have the “F… you!” money, a tool for dignity that allows them to walk away from toxic relationships, either with partner or work environment.
What Can We Do to Stop the Culture of Shame?
- Click with Compassion: If a video is about someone’s undoing, don’t click. Don’t fund the industry of shame.
- Challenge the “Laughter”: When a leader makes a misogynistic joke, don’t laugh. Silence is a powerful protest.
- Teach “Moral Ascendancy”: Help your children understand that power creates a responsibility to protect, not to pursue.
- Invest in Independence: Empower people, especially women, in your circle of influence with High FQ. Someone with “F… you!” money cannot be easily bullied into silence.
This Women’s Month, let’s ponder how we can improve. Progress isn’t just about laws; it’s about a new level of empathy, financial well-being, and the default to be kind instead of judgmental.
Happy Women’s Month!
ANNOUNCEMENT
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3. If you haven’t watched our podcast interview with burnout and sleep specialist Dinah Salonga, click here.
This article is also published in Philstar.com
