The Gray Area Between “Diskarte” and Deception

We often hear this advice given to spouses, “Huwag mong ibigay lahat!” It is framed as a survival tool or a form of empowerment. “Magtabi ka para sa sarili mo.” is aimed at protecting the spouses, especially the one who isn’t the breadwinner, in case of a broken relationship. But while these pieces of advice may have noble intentions of protection, we must ask this question: Does this secrecy actually serve a healthy, high-FQ partnership, or is it a sign of a shaky foundation?

Financial Infidelity is the act of hiding financial information, transactions, or important money matters from a partner you are in a committed relationship with. It isn’t always about secret millions; it can be as simple as a hidden savings account kept against an expectation of transparency. While many consider financial privacy a right, in a high-FQ marriage, privacy is something agreed upon, not something secretly exercised.

This brings us to a topic that has been trending in the news lately. With a high-profile celebrity wedding that didn’t happen in the middle of this month (Ouch! It’s the second for the lovely and very talented actress.), “pre-nups” have become a hot dinner table topic. Legally, for those married in the Philippines on or after August 3, 1988, the default is the Absolute Community of Property, meaning everything you own before and during the marriage becomes one. As I say, “Once you say ‘I do,’ you and your spouse become one Balance Sheet!” If this law is not acceptable or suitable for a couple’s specific needs, a pre-nuptial agreement can be a really healthy and open way to design your own rules before the “I do.” It isn’t about lack of trust; it’s about clear, upfront communication.

When we feel the need to hide money, it is usually a symptom of fear, a desire for power, or a lack of safety. High-FQ couples understand that true empowerment isn’t hidden—it is negotiated. Money should never be a weapon or a survival tool inside a loving partnership.

To help you navigate these complex matters, I am launching a special three-part series on Financial Infidelity. In this first episode, we dive deep into the definition of financial infidelity to help you understand where independence ends and infidelity begins.

Watch this.

ANNOUCEMENT

1. Are you and your partner aligned, or are there hidden money habits affecting your relationship? Find out your Financial Intelligence Quotient. Take the FQ Test now, click here.

2. Is keeping financial secrets a smart backup plan, or is it a sign of a shaky foundation that leads to financial infidelity? Build a healthy, high-FQ partnership and master the rules of love and money by grabbing your copy of the FQ Trilogy today! Here’s the link to our bookstore.

This article is also published in Philstar.com