Quarterlife Marking For A High FQ

Quarterlife Marking For A High FQ

Dec 08, 2021

On December 7, 2021, our youngest son Anton, turned 25 years old, the age when our prefrontal cortex (our rational brain or Makatwirang Mak) is fully developed. That means my husband and I are now off the hook for any of their misdeeds!

Our youngest turned 25 on December 7, 2021. Family pic: Standing left to right – Martin, the author, Marvin, Enrique. Seated – Anton

Kidding aside, I see the importance of a milestone marking of our 25th birthday. When I turned 25 decades ago, I remember saying to myself, “I am now a quarter of a century old!” But I was newly-wed then happily in our honeymoon stage, no time to feel quarterlife crisis or feel too old because I was at the start of an interesting chapter in my life.

Are you familiar with the Jewish tradition of bar and bat mitzvah? This is the coming-of-age ritual (bar for boys and bat for girls). According to Jewish law, before children reach a certain age, the parents are responsible for their child’s actions, but once they reach that certain age, they begin to be held accountable for their own actions. At the ritual, the father offers thanks to God that he is no longer punished for his child’s sins! And what are these ages? It’s 13 for boys and 12 for girls. Pretty young, right? I’m guessing it was based on the biological development of the human reproductive system. At that age, humans are already biologically capable of procreation and so they are now treated as adults, capable of caring for their offspring. While there is no age stated in the bible and Mama Mary holding baby Jesus is always depicted as a woman in her 20s, scholars say that she might have given birth to Jesus at the age of 12 to 16.

How old do you think was Mama Mary when she gave birth to Jesus?

The young “coming-of-age ages” of 12 and 13 worked in the old days, but we have evolved into a more complicated society with education extending to high school, college, graduate school, etc., that 12 and 13 just can not be applied anymore. But we still have to have a milestone age marked for this purpose. The consensus among neurologists about the full development of our prefrontal cortex at age 25 could be the best alternative. At this age, our executive and analytical faculties are fully developed. We can now differentiate not just between good and bad, but also better and best. We can now predict consequences of our action, perform complex cognitive function, delay gratification, and act in accordance with social norms. On the matter of handling our finances, we are no longer (or should no longer) be dependent on our parents. We should be able to control our spending, not indulging and succumbing too much to our FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) tendencies and YOLO (You Only Live Once) justifications. We should be able to activate our Makatwirang Mak to remind us of one important aspect of life: YAGO (You Also Grow Old)!

Yes, You Also Grow Old! And old people should be in a position to enjoy life, enjoy the fruits of their labor, impart their wisdom to the younger generation and contribute to society, spoil their grandchildren, and do other fun and meaningful stuff. And this is only possible if we allowed our Makatwirang Mak to prevail over our Emotional Emong while we were still young, hopefully, no later than when we turned 25. And this does not mean that we should never enjoy our present life while still young. I like to borrow my oldest son’s wisdom when he realized that a lot of his friends were not regularly saving and investing in their twenties but would always feel guilty whenever they’d treat themselves. He said, “When pay yourself first, you can spend the rest guiltlessly!” #GuiltlessYOLO! I think the first basic law of money is really the best antidote to guilty spending. When you know that you have already set aside something for your future self, then your present self can go ahead and enjoy the treats! This way both your Makatwirang Mak and Emotional Emong are happy!

Are you already in an age of fully-developed prefrontal cortex? Or do you have children, loved ones entering or are already in this stage? Let’s make a ritual out of it. Mark the milestone and include a high FQ feature to it. Put a system that will make the future old self thank the 25-year-old self.

Cheers to milestone marking towards a High FQ!


1. We will continue this conversation on quarterlife money matters in our Kumu show together with the birthday boy VJ Anton and our guest, TV host Cara Eriguel.

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This article is also published in FQMom.com

Attribution: Pinterest