Most families have traditions. Some of them may not even know but their set ways of doing things, or even the lack of it, already comprise their family traditions. Some have been passed on from generation to generation consciously or unconsciously. These can be elaborate milestone celebrations or just special ways of doing ordinary everyday things.
Traditions bind families together and foster intimacy. They bring about connectedness and unity among family members. They help define the family. The members are given concrete activities to know what their family stands for, what their family values are, and what they enjoy doing. Traditions, even if sometimes cumbersome, give family members a sense of security. Belonging to a family you know well provides a sense of self identity and guidelines on how to live your life.
I wish to give way to an article written by my second son, Enrique, about one of our family traditions. This piece may inspire you to consider incorporating a similar activity in your coming yearend celebrations with your family.
Family Goal Setting
By Enrique Fres Fausto
You can judge a person’s character by the habits he’s formed. You can judge a family’s values by the traditions they uphold. If it is the things we do repeatedly and consistently that define how we live our lives, why not take a more active role in shaping them?
Allow me to share one tradition my family does every year that, at first, may seem a little too formal or silly, but if done in your own way, can help each and every person in the family be the best they can be. We call it our yearly “family goal setting.”
Every year, I’m sure you’ve tried, one way or another, to set goals for yourself such as starting a new diet, saving or traveling more. (How have your 2018 goals been coming along?) Some think and reflect about their goals while others even take the time to write them down on a piece of paper. Still, I hear of very few who actually go as far as calling a meeting with their family to discuss, bringing out the Excel sheets for scoring and setting goals, while taking down the minutes of the meeting as if it’s in a corporate setting. (I’m serious. We really do this). Don’t get me wrong; it’s a pretty chill and lax atmosphere where we’re in our pambahay clothes all clumped up in a room together.
The idea really started out with my mom (a.k.a the FQ Mom) who thought, why not share our New Year goals with people who only want what’s best for us and will help in any way they can? What better place to look than within our own family?
We all decided to do this when we would go to a new place where we haven’t been to before, either out of town or out of the country over the holidays for the New Year. We would then find our own spot to reflect on the year, look back at how we did, and dream some more on how to make the next year even better. We would dedicate the afternoon sharing our stories and our personal ratings of how well we did, giving a score from one to ten for the rest of the family to hear. After that, we would lay out all our goals for the next year so we would be accountable to each other. Anyone is free to give his or her comments as well as offer help and advice on how to improve.
It may seem awkward at first, but trust me, you’ll learn so much about each other, know what each person truly values, and realize how great it is to have a support system as you shoot for the stars. It’s great being able to share your successes with loved ones without fear of being called mayabang. Celebrating these achievements, like getting into your dream school or starting a business, can really amplify the joy you get out of it. At the same time, having an avenue to share your failures and shortcomings without judgment can be the best therapy toward overcoming them.
We know everyone is on the same team, and being aware of each family member’s goals gives us a chance to help where we can. We can’t help someone when we don’t even know where he or she needs helps with.
At the end of the day, there’s nothing to lose with trying this out with your family. You might discover something about your mom or dad that you never knew before. You may even learn a thing or two about yourself. And who knows, this could be that little extra push you need to finally reach that goal.
- To know more about family goal setting and FQripot tips when travelling as a family, watch our FQwentuhan tomorrow on FQ Mom Facebook page and Youtube channel.
- I’ll be giving an FQ Talk (Finance 101) for Avida Land on October 13, 2018 (Saturday), 3:00 pm at the Ascott Hotel, BGC. This is a by-invitation event so please get in touch with Ms. Karen Trixy Kalalo at (+63) 917 836 2889
- I’ll be giving an FQ Talk at the East Bay Residences on October 14, 2018. If you’re a Rockwell East Bay client, I look forward to seeing you there. If you know someone who is a client, ask to be their guest. ?
- Thanks to those who already bought the FQ Book, especially to those who took the time out to send me their feedback. Your feedback is food for my soul. To those who have not gotten their copy yet, here’s a short preview of FQ: The nth Intelligence
You may now purchase the book in major bookstores, or if you want autographed copies, please go to FQ Mom FB page (click SHOP), or FQMom.com (click BOOKS), or email us at FQMomm@gmail.com
- Want to know where your FQ stands? Take the FQ Test Challenge now! Click link. http://rebrand.ly/FQTest
Rose Fres Fausto is a speaker and author of bestselling books Raising Pinoy Boys and The Retelling of The Richest Man in Babylon (English and Filipino versions). Click this link to read samples – Books of FQ Mom. She is a Behavioral Economist, Certified Gallup Strengths Coach and the grand prize winner of the first Sinag Financial Literacy Digital Journalism Awards. Follow her on Facebook & YouTube as FQ Mom, and Twitter & Instagram as theFQMom. Her latest book is FQ: The nth Intelligence.
ATTRIBUTIONS: This article is published here with the permission of Kerygma magazine and the author. Photos from Yo Price Ville Gallery, VectorStock, ctfia.org, and UbiSafe modified and used to help deliver the message of the article.