Before They Enter College: Equip Them With High FQ
This weekend, I will give a talk to parents of Grade 12 students to help them prepare their children how to handle money matters as they enter college.
College days. As I recall my own back in the ’80s, I can’t help but smile as I remember the fun, challenges, and growing independence I experienced. I do remember my mom still accompanying me to enroll during my first semester, then I was on my own in the next seven semesters. In fact, I even joined the Registration Committee later on so I could pick my subject teachers and timeslots. This committee membership allowed me to avoid late night and Saturday classes, and allowed me to have my preferred professors. There’s something about picking your teachers—it makes you more invested in learning because, after all, you chose them.
When it came to handling my allowance, I already considered myself “okay” since I had been given a weekly allowance since kindergarten—something my mom implemented quite ahead of its time, as I hardly knew any of my classmates who had the same arrangement. When I unearthed an old 1983 planner where I did the accounting of my allowance, I read happy remarks such as, “Balance exact! Good!” on days I accounted for everything, and frustrated ones when I didn’t, “Sh… short! Where did that go?”
I laugh at this now, but I’m quite happy to connect the dots to where I am today. I no longer do this detailed accounting of every centavo, but that early discipline trained me to always keep track of where my money flowed. As I grew older, I learned to use the power of design to make money management simpler and more sustainable.
Today’s Challenges
Let’s examine how Grade 12 children are with money these days. They are 17 to 18 years old—excited or anxious to enter college. Maybe most of them already have e-wallets and bank accounts. The big difference between their generation and mine is their exposure to the world while still developing their own identities.
I was only exposed to my family, friends, neighbors, and classmates. I saw how they spent money. And when I noticed differences, it was easier for my mom to explain them.
Compare that to what a Grade 12 student is exposed to today. Through social media, they see the lifestyles of people all over the world—including those with seemingly unlimited or even unexplainable wealth.
At this age, their Makatwirang Mak—the rational part of the brain—is not yet fully developed. It will still take a few more years, at age 25, to fully mature. Meanwhile, their Emotional Emong—the limbic emotional part of their brain— is bombarded 24/7 by high-definition posts triggering the “Global Inggit Factor” that can make even the most blessed teenagers feel inadequate and shortchanged, making them vulnerable to impulsive spending and peer pressure. Add to that the ease of buying with one-click and the rather “painless” nature of digital spending—no need to observe my mom’s tenet, “If you want something, save for it.” that automatically delayed gratification.
So, how do we help our children navigate this phase and thrive with a High FQ?
Practical Tips
Here are some of the things parents can do to build High FQ in their children.
1. Start with awareness: Take the FQ Test together.
Before anything else, help your children know where they are in their FQ Journey. Take the FQ Test together and discuss the results. This creates awareness and opens a safe space for honest conversations—without judgment. You can even go on to understand your relationship with money through the exercises found in FQ Book 1.
2. Normalize money conversations.
Talk openly about budgeting, trade-offs, and even your own financial mistakes. This removes the stigma, shame, and other negative feelings about money and helps build their confidence in handling it.
3. Shift from control to coaching.
Your role is evolving. From being the “provider and decision-maker,” you now become a “guide and sounding board.” Let them make small financial decisions—and even small mistakes—while they are still under your safety net.
4. Teach them Mak vs. Emong early on.
Help them recognize when decisions are driven by their Makatwirang Mak (logical, long-term thinking) versus their Emotional Emong (impulsive, feelings-based reactions). The goal is not to eliminate Emong—but to understand their predispositions regarding different aspects affecting our money behavior. This will help them design what’s best for themselves as discussed in FQ Books 2 and 3.
5. Give a structured allowance—with boundaries.
Whether weekly or monthly, give an amount that covers specific expenses. Be clear about what is included and what is not. Don’t rescue them when they overspend—this is where real learning happens.
6. Address social media illusions head-on.
Help them process what they see online. Ask guiding questions: “Is this real? Is this sustainable? Is this aligned with our values?” “Anong nakaka-inggit dito?” Help them see the cost behind the post.
The Third Law of Money Hack: Make them observe this easy-to-remember rule to instill that important skill of delaying gratification—Buy luxury only if you can afford to buy 10 pieces of it!
7. Anchor them on family values, not comparisons.
Every family has a different financial story. Be clear about yours. When children understand your “why,” they feel grounded instead of deprived. Remind them that the true purpose of money is to fulfill your core values.
8. Encourage earning, not just spending.
Let them experience earning—through small gigs or projects. Summer is a great opportunity for earning activities. Start with their gifts—what are they good at that can allow them to help others and earn at the same time?
9. Design a money system for independence—and the eventual “cutting of the financial umbilical cord.”
College is the transition period to an important milestone of cutting the financial umbilical cord. From the very start, design your child’s money systems in a way that prepares them for financial independence. This means gradually shifting responsibilities: from fully provided, to partially managed, to eventually self-supported.
Introduce a simple structure that mimics the jar system of their younger years to easily observe their Spend, Save/Invest, Give. The habit of allocating is more important than the amount. And for teenagers who are into so many things, help them build a system that works:
- Have an account that receives the allowance from you. (Decide whether it’s weekly, monthly, etc.)
- Have a saving/investing account where a certain percentage of the total allowance received is automatically deposited. I started my children with a 20% savings rate and this made it easier for them to observe the first basic law of money—Pay yourself first. See what’s best for you and avoid risky and volatile investments. Bonds and equity index funds are good choices.
- If your family believes in tithing or any form of giving back, it is also good to automate this part in a separate account.
- Another separate account can be an emergency fund. This is in order to start practicing the habit of setting aside this important fund. This can be invested in money market funds.
*Note: Accounts b to d should not be linked to shopping apps.
10. If needed, delete shopping apps from their cellphones.
If the money system in the previous number is not enough, ask them to delete the shopping apps from their phones then just install them when there is a need to purchase something online.
Take advantage of this milestone moment
As your children step into college, they are not just choosing subjects and schedules. They are beginning to shape their lifelong relationship with money.
And just like choosing their course and professors can make them more invested in learning, allowing them to make financial decisions—guided by you—will make them more invested in building their own financial well-being.
Because in the end, no matter what course and profession your children choose—and no matter what happens to our economy— it is their High FQ that will equip them with the ultimate Economic Self-defense!
This article is also published in Philstar.com
