Today is my birthday and gee I’m 55! I’ve been asked a number times why I’m okay to announce my age while the norm is to guard it the way you guard your ATM password. ?
We also come up with all these age-denying sayings.
When people say, “You don’t look your age at all!” that’s supposed to be a compliment. And honestly, even I get thrilled hearing this compliment. But why? Because of society’s general preference for the physical appearance of young women. No wonder the anti-aging business is worth billions of dollars.
But is it all for vanity? I don’t think so. Several years ago, someone applying to be our kasambahay also lied about her age. Although I was quite surprised to hear her age, I didn’t ask, “Talaga?” maybe careful not to hurt her feelings. I hired her and she turned out to be one of my favorite kasambahays ever, very hardworking with a spunk. Later on, she admitted to her real age. When I asked her why she lied about it she said, “Kasi ma’am sabi ng nagrekomenda sa akin sa inyo, bawasan ko yong edad ko para tanggapin nyo ako. Baka kasi pag nalaman nyo yong edad ko iisipin nyong hindi ko na kaya ang mga gawaing bahay.”
Dr. Sophie Van Der Zee, assistant professor at the Behavioral Economics Group at Erasmus University Rotterdam, says around one in five people lie about age.
The two scenarios in which people tend to lie most about it are in their profiles for job application and dating. Maybe it’s an attempt to be treated “fairly?” But isn’t lying about your age unfair? In dating apps, what if your potential date wants to have a child?
Benefits of admitting your age
I’ve encountered a few women my age who say, “I’ve stopped counting many years ago.” and some really do because when pressed to answer the question, they have to compute in order to answer correctly.
Do you ever wonder what all those “50s is the new 30s” sayings bring us? Sure, it’s a reminder that we don’t have to look worn out and we can still do many things, but not embracing and celebrating your real age may also have a negative effect on us. It may have a denial effect and may exacerbate the common human tendency to procrastinate because we still feel we’re in our 30s anyway. Whereas, if we always bear in mind our real age, we know that time is really running and we have to prioritize NOW.
Aside from vanity and wanting to be treated “fairly” as discussed above, it’s also possible that there may be a subconscious dissatisfaction of where one is right now, what one has achieved, that somehow makes it better to forget one’s age. And this probably goes to both genders. The human wiring always automatically looks for defense mechanisms to rationalize its shortcomings. The psychological effect of shaving off two decades from your age might give you a temporary relief. Note however, that embracing your real age might not give you that temporary relief but may give you that necessary jolt to eliminate procrastination in doing the important things in life.
Celebrating my 55th and our 5th
My FQMom.com team has prepared a month-long celebration of the 5th anniversary of the website. But for some of you who have been generously giving your precious time reading, watching and listening to my work from the start, you may wonder why it seems to have been a lot longer than 5 years. It’s because I started the journey of my second wind when I wrote my first book Raising Pinoy Boys in late 2010. So, to my earlier readers, it has been almost nine years of being together, thank you. ?
When I turned gold in 2014 we launched FQMom.com. Here, watch what I said during my golden celebration dubbed #FQMomGrateful@50
Again, it’s really your prerogative whether you reveal your age or not. To each her own. Walang basagan ng trip. ? But hopefully, society will eventually be kinder in treating older citizens (not just by giving 20% discounts to seniors) but really, more about the acknowledgement of the special contribution of the older citizens to humanity, and giving them the support and treatment they need and want. Anyway, kung susuwertehin, lahat tayo tatanda! Our wrinkles are probably there for a reason. In the same way as the beauty of wood, wine, etc. increases as they age, so too should the beauty and wisdom of aging be acknowledged and celebrated.
And speaking of celebrations, we are inviting all of you to join our month-long celebration this September. For starters, we are bringing back last year’s free courier service on book orders
Talks booked in September will also get special discounts/freebies.
And of course, our ongoing Share Your FQ Story is something we’re excited about. We want to hear your stories. See mechanics below. For full mechanics, please visit my post on our FQ Mom Facebook page through this link.
I hope to see your participation in any of the above as we celebrate ageing. Happy 5-55 to us!
1. Mom and Son Podcast – Season 3 Episode 10 (EMBRACING AGEING)
From the bunso Anton Fausto:
Happy new month and Happy Birthday to our very own FQ Mom! She turns 55 tomorrow so be sure to send your well wishes and prayers for her. ? In line with this, we discuss the idea of ageing, how the physical body inevitably deteriorates and how one tackles this harsh reality. There is a proper way to deal with ageing according to FQ Mom, join us and stream now!
Stream the full episode now through these links:
(Originally uploaded in Anton’s Youtube channel: https://youtu.be/hOsiwOQjiig)
2. Thanks to those who already bought the FQ Book, especially to those who took the time out to send me their feedback. Your feedback is food for my soul. To those who have not gotten their copy yet, here’s a short preview of FQ: The nth Intelligence
3. Want to know where your FQ stands? Take the FQ Test Challenge now! Click link. http://rebrand.ly/FQTest
Rose Fres Fausto is a speaker and author of bestselling books Raising Pinoy Boys and The Retelling of The Richest Man in Babylon (English and Filipino versions). Click this link to read samples – Books of FQ Mom. She is a Behavioral Economist, Certified Gallup Strengths Coach and the grand prize winner of the first Sinag Financial Literacy Digital Journalism Awards. Follow her on Facebook & YouTube as FQ Mom, and Twitter & Instagram as theFQMom. Her latest book is FQ: The nth Intelligence.
IMAGE ATTRIBUTION: Photos from istockphoto.com, freepik.com, thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com, Sccpre.cat, clipart-library.com, sclance.com, pinclipart.com and canva.com, modified and used to help deliver the message of the article.