Nepo Babies, Philippine Culture, and Money Values
The term “nepo babies” has been all over social media lately. Short for “nepotism babies,” it describes children who rise to positions of power or influence largely because of their family name. The current rage against them in the country is not just because of their undue access to opportunities and luxuries but because the source of all these is blatant corruption that ransacks public coffers, hijacking the delivery of basic services to the Filipino people, majority of whom wallow in poverty, drowning in floods despite the billions of public funds regularly spent on flood control projects!
Unpacking the psyche of nepo babies
Imagine yourself being born into wealth and political power. Opportunities and luxuries come to you almost by default. This may breed an entitlement mindset—the assumption that everything that you’re enjoying are your birthright. You post your luxury buys and vacations and you get hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of likes and followers. And because your parents shield you from ordinary struggles and the true source of your family wealth, they may have skipped teaching you important FQ lessons such as budgeting your allowance, delaying gratification by not buying that toy right away but saving up for it yourself, and other life lessons.
Pause for a moment to feel how it is to be in their shoes. You see your parents giving dole outs to their constituents and probably you equate that for generosity and service and you say, “I have the best daddy in the world! He gives me what I want and also helps the people.” And so, you post and post and you begin to feel happy and accomplished about something.
So, are the nepo babies blameless? Of course not! The above narrative can only give them an excuse in their early years when their prefrontal cortex (the rational part of the brain) is not yet fully-developed. But most of them are now at least 25 years old. I consider this the age where blaming your parents expires. They also do not have any excuse to be stupid because they are sent to the best schools money can buy. They know how to add and subtract, and if they know how to research on the best restaurants, vacation and shopping places, they should know how to figure out more basic things like, “Can my parents afford all that we have given their legitimate earnings?”
Just a note on this. It is difficult for a child to reconcile how her doting parents can be crooks. I know someone who literally vomited when she finally realized how her daddy had been funding their lifestyle.
What now?
I like to use the saying, “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” when describing how parental efforts can be judged. I balance this off with “Twenty-five years old is the expiry date of blaming your parents and childhood for your life’s failures.” so parents don’t unnecessarily carry parental guilt forever. With the nepo babies now in the limelight, maybe we can also say:
“Ang nakatagong kalokohan ng magulang ay nahuhuli sa social media posts ng anak!”
And this is one of the blessings of social media. Their children are the ones providing the “resibo!” Let’s continue to talk about them, some have called for public shaming so that we put an end to normalizing their behavior.
But this is so much more than policing nepo babies. It goes deeper into the Philippine culture and structures. It calls for the end of political dynasties, feudal relationships, padrino system that promotes the vicious cycle of poverty and mendicancy.
My general disposition in life is optimism. Easier on some days and harder on some, but I know that I’m always better off with hope than without. I want to be hopeful in our fight against corruption in our country so we can all have that Philippines we deserve.
How about you, are you hopeful that this outcry against nepo babies will start the ball rolling in our fight against corruption? But here’s the catch: Can we really get rid of corruption now when our leader himself was a nepo baby?
If you watch the senate proceedings questioning Discaya, DPWH, etc., you see that the ones questioning them in rough and pa-sindak manner don’t necessarily have the moral authority to do so. One was convicted with bribery in the Napoles pork barrel scam, another one was involved in the anomalous multi-billion procurement contracts with Pharmally. Argh!
But as I just said, we are better off with hope than without. So, if we want a Philippines that breaks free from the cycle of nepotism and corruption, we cannot not do anything. We can start with what we can control—our home—how we raise our children, how we steward our blessings, how we demand accountability, and how we vote.
Take note, even if you are not a politician earning dirty money or a contractor in cahoots with corrupt government officials, but just an honest citizen working hard, you can still end up raising a nepo baby. How? Remember, nepo baby means a child who rises to positions of power or influence largely because of family name. So, make sure that you don’t skip raising them with high FQ, imparting in them your positive values about money, work, and life in general. There are nepo babies not just in politics but in showbiz (the sons and daughters of showbiz royalties get the first breaks) and also in business (definitely children of company owners or even top executives are considered for good positions). If you’re a parent, you would definitely want your children to enjoy that opportunity available to them because of your own hard work. But once they get one foot in the door, they should be on their own. They should work as hard, if not harder, to deserve that privilege.
Here’s my question for you. For parents, what values are you passing down to your children? For citizens without children, what values are you living out right now and passing on to the people within your circle of influence? Are they values that make not just your family but our entire nation stronger? Are they values that help us get rid of the systemic and brazen corruption in our country?
ANNOUNCEMENTS
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This article is also published in Philstar.com
Attribution: Images from Philstar, Reddit, Facebook, Remond Suarez and Preview
