I remember having gone through midlife crisis (which I prefer to call midlife assessment) and that gave birth to my first book Raising Pinoy Boys, which consequently, gave birth to my second wind. But quarter-life crisis, I’m not sure if I really went through that.
Where was I at the age of 25? Well, I just gave birth to our first child, Martin, and I was busy being a first time mom while working in an investment house. If there was any crisis I had during that time, it was when for a period of one week we didn’t have a yaya. I was alone at home taking care of my four-month old baby, very tired, feeling (and maybe looking) like a zombie while I was feeding him. He must have felt my stress and sadness that he kissed me on my cheek. That must have been the very first baby-initiated kiss I experienced because I was so surprised and moved and instantly got my baby’s message, “It’s okay Mama, I love you.” then I started to cry.
What is quarter-life crisis?
This is the period ranging from 20s to 30s when a person feels doubtful about his or her own life, primarily brought on by the stress of becoming an adult.
Here are common symptoms of quarter-life crisis.
- You can’t understand why you’re not happy with your achievements.
- You suddenly feel like your job is a prison cell or the reason for all your sadness and frustrations.
- You’re easily frustrated.
- You lack motivation, even in the things that were exciting to you.
- You feel like a failure, oftentimes feeling inferior to your peers and even to your parents when they were your age.
- You’re unable to find work that is meaningful to you. You end up jumping from one job to another. In fact, you’ve had five to six jobs in the last four years.
- Sometimes this trend in no. 7 is carried on to your relationships – you’ve had five to six break-ups in the last four years!
- You realize you have nothing in common with your dear friends from school that you thought would be your friends for life.
- You stop connecting with your friends and loved ones.
- You see the problem but you never go the extra mile to solve it because you feel it will not make any difference.
- You spiral into depression.
- You resort to escapism, spending long hours in front of the tv or your handheld device to be entertained and pass the time, and before you know it the day is over.
- You have a feeling of detachment. You don’t really care about the things that used to excite you and the things that the people around you tell you, including your loved ones.
- You get anxious seeing posts of your friends – both those enjoying their “wonderful life” and those ranting about anything and everything.
- You’re unhappy with the way you look and yet you say to yourself, “I don’t care how I look.”
- You hate it when people ask you about your love life and start showing concerns that getting married is not yet in the near future but hitting 30 is.
- Your expenses are still way beyond your income.
- And yet, you still buy stuff in order to cover up your dire financial condition.
- You hate your parents because they still treat you like a child, and yet you can’t leave because you still can’t afford to.
- You can’t understand all these talk about following your passion because you’re beginning to realize you don’t really know yourself well.
There are many more symptoms that you can add to the above list.
If it’s any consolation, studies show that those who go through quarter-life crisis are driven individuals with strong ideals and are keen on achieving their goals in life. They just need to re-assess their feelings and the cause of their anxiety at this point in their lives in order to go on with their journey.
Experiencing the above symptoms should be viewed as a signal to do something about the situation. Acknowledge your feelings but remember that your entire being is not your feelings and emotions. You are much more than that. Hence, if you’re feeling shitty every morning, this does not mean that you are a shitty person. Your emotions are temporary and should not be “the boss.” They give you clues to what you value in life allowing you to understand yourself better, but the decision on how to act on these emotions is still your call.
Quarter-life Crisis Quotes
Instead of enumerating more things to do to overcome the crisis, I will leave you with a few quotes that will help all millennials undergoing this interesting stage right now. Ponder upon them and see how you can address your own version of quarter-life crisis.
Let’s Hear it from the Millennials
I believe that lessons are best delivered and remembered when told in a story. So join me on Wednesday for our FQ-wentuhan via FQ Mom FB Page with two millennials who will share their experiences of this interesting stage called quarter-life crisis. Martin Fausto (owner of Brand’eM audit and consultancy) and Michelle Kawpeng (dance teacher and founder of REDph) will be our special guests.
- Join us today on FQ-wentuhan at noon as we discuss further our article for today, this time hearing it from the horses’ mouths! Our guests are both millennials born in the year of the horse – Martin Fausto and Mitchelle Kawpeng.
- I will speak at the PDIC (Philippine Deposit Insurance Corporation) on how to teach financial responsibility to children. This will be on June 22, 2017.
- My son Martin and I will speak at the Investors Forum of SLAMCI (Sun Life Asset Management Company, Inc.) on July 18, 2017
- Want to know your FQ Score. Take it today. Click link to take the test.
Rose Fres Fausto is a speaker and author of bestselling books Raising Pinoy Boys and The Retelling of The Richest Man in Babylon (English and Filipino versions). Click this link to read samples – Books of FQ Mom Rose Fres Fausto. She is a Behavioral Economist, Certified Gallup Strengths Coach and the grand prize winner of the first Sinag Financial Literacy Digital Journalism Awards. Follow her on Facebook and You Tube as FQ Mom, and Twitter & Instagram as theFQMom.
ATTRIBUTIONS: Images from 123RF.com, Dreamstime.com, Memrise, Noun Project, Openclipart, PDIC official website, Plant Cultures and Psychology Today put together to help deliver the message.