Nobody plans to have an extra-marital affair. And still, nobody gets into an affair just like that. It’s the little things that we do and not do, the little things that we allow to happen that can one day turn into a full-blown headache called extra-marital affair.
Have you ever wondered why movies about this subject matter are always blockbuster hits? It’s an intriguing topic for a lot of people. It’s the subject of gossip tabloids, and even blind items of mainstream newspapers. It’s a material that sells!
Unfortunately, affairs are very costly – both in monetary and emotional terms. Affairs ruin families, burden your health and wealth, and most of the time, our children take the biggest hit.
All marriages, even those seemingly “made in heaven” are susceptible to affairs. No one is exempt from this danger. It’s because affairs are not planned. They are coincidental and/or accidental meeting of needs unfulfilled by partners. The good news is that we can all do something about protecting our marriage. Wouldn’t it be great if we can affair-proof our marriage? In fact, we can repair a damaged marriage and we can recover from one. This is the subject of the first book of my friend, Lissy Ann Abella Puno, a counseling psychologist and certified Imago Relationship Therapist in private practice in Singapore where she is the founder of the International Counseling & Psychology Centre.
Recently, I interviewed Lissy about her book during her visit to Manila. I wish to share with you our tête-à-tête about affairs. :) You may opt to watch the 30-minute video in its entirety by clicking this link:
Another option is to watch the segments that interest you by clicking the links to short clips below:
- FriDates are a major part of keeping my relationship with Marvin fresh and young. I owe that to Lissy. Find out here.
- Empty Nesters. We also talked about this phenomenon called Empty Nesting.
- Dream Couple to Counsel. I asked Lissy to imagine counseling Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie). :)
- Love is a Decision. Yes, I hate to burst the bubble of hopeless romantics, but more than anything, love is a decision, an act of the will.
- How can love not become tiring & boring? Love is an everyday choice so how can we make it not so heavy, tiring and boring?
- On Public Display of Affection (PDA). Are you a PDA? Check out what we discussed about this.
- The respective needs of man and woman. Hey wives, men need their partners to be attractive! So let’s stay gorgeous until our Lola days!
- Stages of a Relationship & Vulnerability to Affairs. What stage are you in right now in your marriage?
- Signs that your marriage can still recover. Are you or is there anyone you know whose marriage is suffering from an affair? See if you/they can still recover from it.
- The Children as reason for not breaking up. There are two schools of thought here: Should children be the reason to keep your marriage? Some say yes because you owe it to them. Others say no. Let’s see what Lissy has to say.
- Marital Money Problems / Financial Intimacy. Money is a top stressor in marriage. Let’s find out what Lissy has encountered in her decades of counseling.
- Social Media Affair. There are different kinds of affair and this is probably the newest variety. Let’s find out so we can protect ourselves from it.
- The Missing 10% & Banking Analogies. I love the way analogies help us understand concepts more clearly. Here, Lissy and I offer two analogies.
- 4Cs to Affair-Proof Your Marriage. My wish is for all couples to protect their marriage. This book is not just for those with problems. Let’s find out how we can affair-proof our marriage.
- On Anniversaries & More. As we end our talk we discussed about celebrating wedding anniversaries and more. We celebrated our Silver in the same year. Click to listen in.
There are so many more things to learn from the book Affairs Don’t Just Happen (Protect – Repair – Recover) by my friend Lissy. It’s her labor of love – over 25 years of practice in her field. I suggest you go catch her book launch and signing this weekend. She will give a free talk on marriage during these events: November 26, (Saturday) 4pm at Powerbooks Greenbelt 4, Makati City; and November 27 (Sunday) 3pm at the Fully Booked BGC, Taguig City.
- I will speak at the launch of the Relationship Survey Index of PruLIfe on November 24, 2016 at 10am at the Dusit Hotel, Makati City.
- To those who want to experience an extraordinary dance concert, watch Unveiled (a festival of artists in one movement) on November 27, 2016 4pm AFP Theater. Tickets @P400, call 09173287222. This is spearheaded by Michelle Kawpeng of REDph. Photo by Lost Boys Productions, Marketing by Brand’eM. Click link to know more about it. com/RawElementsDance
- Watch out for the continuation of my FQ talks in cooperation with Security Bank. Dates and venues to be announced.
- I will give a talk on FQ to Placement Practitioners on November 29, 2016 at the Faber Hall, Ateneo De Manila, Loyola Heights, Quezon City
- Want to know your FQ Score, click link to take the test. Your feedback is welcome.
Rose Fres Fausto is a speaker and author of bestselling books Raising Pinoy Boys and The Retelling of The Richest Man in Babylon (English and Filipino versions). Click this link to read samples – Books of FQ Mom Rose Fres Fausto. She is a Behavioral Economist, Certified Gallup Strengths Coach and the grand prize winner of the first Sinag Financial Literacy Digital Journalism Awards. Follow her on Facebook and You Tube as FQ Mom, and Twitter & Instagram as theFQMom.
Attribution: Interview with Lissy Ann Abella conducted in October 2016.